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What's it like to be in your current relationship?

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How do you show up with your partner?

 

How do you relate to communication, conflicts, and intimacy together?

 

How do you support and trust each other?

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How do you know yourself, your own reactions and behaviors? 

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Couples fascinate me - romance, connection, intimacy, and love.  These states of being are exciting, seductive, transcendent, mysterious, and so very challenging. They’re supposed to be.  A relationship with a partner provides chances to grow and mature — as a unit together and as a human yourself.

Couples have issues and grievances.  I suspect that at times in your relationship, each of you becomes an island: disconnected, reactive, defensive, and adversarial, unable to see or hear anything except “it’s me against you.”  In the heat of battle your triggered selves appear, and instinctively fight, retreat, or freeze. Like ghosts from your formative years, your own family and society have played a major role in shaping you and your relational behavior.  Sometimes, our deeply ingrained childhood experiences can manifest in unhealthy ways in our adult lives and relationships.
 

Throughout our lives, we all have had experiences that taught us certain beliefs about “who I am or can be” and also "who I can't or won't be."  We have adapted our reactions accordingly.  These experiences shaped how we behave with others.

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So when you buy into these beliefs, without looking closely at them and their impact, 

your life story is living you and the dynamic of your intimate relationship.

​​​​These unexamined experiences limit the couple who yearn for more attunement, cooperation and love. 

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If you’re ready to take this opportunity to acknowledge, confront, and ultimately mature yourselves, what do you do now?  

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Is there something else you want?

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How would you like to grow with your partner?

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Discover relational patterns and their origins.  Once upon a time, in your earliest relationships and environments, you learned your own version of self-esteem and boundaries.  Back then, it was strength and armor.  But how does it play into the dynamic of your relationship today?  

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Make this exploration together.  Being witness to your partner is practice in vulnerability and compassion.  You can support each other in seeing and healing old traumas, growing wiser and maturing in the process.  Together, you can learn how to continually listen, speak, and move from harmony to disruption to repair.